In Order of Disappearance
[Kraftidioten]DVD - 2016
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Egil Dickman: "Pain is just weakness leaving the body." Not good medical advice but funny in its way.
The snowplow driver:
But it is strange to get a prize for doing what you like. I'm just a man who keeps a strip of civilization open … through the wilderness. When I was a kid I liked Indian books … and you can say I have become a kind of… pathfinder. Even though I find the same path again and again.
You are a success, Nils. It's no secret. You have shown it is possible to succeed even if you don't come from Norway. We need people like you. A successful fully integrated immigrant. And "immigrant", it is well meant in this context.
-Well, we're fine, Gail and me. I am probably best at minding my own business.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes... No. If all had that attitude we wouldn't have a democracy.
Why the hell do we get all that snow? I don't know how we stand it. It's snowing all the time.
- It's the welfare. There isn't any hot country that has welfare. When the weather is great you do not need a welfare state. Then you gather a banana and is done with it. What's happening? It's the snow. In Bali, Thailand, Vietnam… people has to fend for themselves.
Spain is on the ass. Portugal is on the ass. Greece is on the ass. Italy is on the ass. It is hot countries. Hospitals have no personnel. The families must come with food. South America is a hole. Africa is a hole. California soon go bankrupt. Sun or welfare.
I rolled them into chicken wire and threw them in the waterfalls. Then the little fish can get in and gnaw the flesh from the bones… so they do not swell. Then they just are there.
I’m going to kill him.
-You? You couldn’t kill anyone.
It must be cold here for a Chinese.
- I’m Danish.
Hey, I just a little moral question for you. Now you are in Norway. This is not a banana republic. Here in Norway we keep our agreements.
As a biologist, I am optimistic. Much is pointing in the right direction. We have become more humane
towards each other and towards animals. The default behavior 100 years ago we now perceive as barbaric. We kill each other in increasingly smaller extent.
The Norwegian Prison:
Does it still hurt in the tooth? Go to a dentist.
-When would I have time for that?
Have you been in a Norwegian prison?
-No, not yet.
You have something to look forward to. Good food. Heating.
You won't believe it. You get wages for jobs there.
-You're kidding me.
I swear! And everyone is friendly and courteous. Guards don't harass you. No rapes. Even the inmates are nice.
-No rapes, nice guards... You don't fool me.
A modern society. Civilized. See, I had all my teeth done.
You might think that my profession is not a creative profession, but that it is. And with such a man as you, we'll go quite traditional about it. I will pull your finger nails, cut your fingers off. I cut your hands off, take your ears and cut your nose off. And exactly that with the nose… you're not going to like.
Imagine if you had to share a son. What kind of people are they?
I was at a parents meeting last month, Marit. I was at school / home conversation and went to the fxcking bully seminar. Now you gotta relax. I have a job, which is pissing difficult and demanding. No need to get excited.
-You're not an important business man. You're a criminal.
You know what? You kwow me well. But I also know you. You're not fooling me with your Neo-hippie mittens. I remember when you could go in all stores worldwide… and buy what you wanted. Then there was nothing wrong with the money or anything else. Take your parents' meeting and stuff it so far up your dry, Danish XYZ… you never find it again.
Why? Aren't you a kidnapper?
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