Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire

A Never Coming of Age Story

Book - 2010
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After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.
Publisher: New York, NY : Balzer + Bray, 2010.
ISBN: 9780061920905
0061920908
Characteristics: 324 p. ;,22 cm.

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FindingJane Aug 26, 2016

Scintillating, wry and pointed (sorry, couldn’t resist), “Fat Vampire” skewers the popular teen vampire genre with malicious tongue-in-cheek humor. Not all vampires are hot and buff. Not all are suave Eurotrash. Certainly not all newbies have their situation figured out—especially if their sire doesn’t stick around to show them the ropes.

Being turned means you stay as you are…for the rest of eternity. So if you’re a pudgy, pasty-faced, sweaty 15-year-old loser when you’re turned, you’re always going to be. That’s what happens to Doug Lee. Poor Doug is also crippled by low self-esteem, a computer nerd for a friend, mild homophobia and the social awkwardness that means girls will always view him with a mixture of exasperation and pity. When he finds out that vampirism doesn’t necessarily change any of that, the story achieves both pathos and hilarity.

Doug’s efforts to handle dating, high school, his vampire mentor (who’s more depressing than a priest at a funeral) and finding enough plasma to keep him going make for fun reading. The dialogue is on target and crisp, especially when outlining the dynamics of high school politics.

The charming Sejal, a visitor from India, was great to read about, too. Like Doug, she sees American culture from the viewpoint of an outsider, however, she’s also desperate to belong. While fending off Doug’s clumsy advances, she learns a startling thing or two about herself. The whole novel is unexpected yet narrows in on the adolescent experience of growing up in the United States. But she’s not the only one. There are a myriad of characters swirling around in this novel, each with their own dialogue.

If the thought of yet another teenage vampire book makes you sick, “Fat Vampire” is the perfect antidote.

CRRL_CraigGraziano Jun 25, 2015

Rex’s dedication to following and finding loopholes around vampire folklore is so much more satisfying in comparison to Stephanie Meyer’s glittery heartthrob pretty boys. Early in the book, Doug is at a party that is miles above his social status. When asked by a partygoer how he was allowed to come, he shows the invitation he found on the ground. Vampires must be invited into a house before they can enter, so Rex manages to combine the exclusivity of teen parties with the rules of vampirism. Doug is simply not cool enough to suck on the necks of any hot girls.

Read more at: http://www.librarypoint.org/fat_vampire_adam_rex

triptophan Jul 02, 2014

This vampire novel, Fat Vampire was really bad. I thought Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Series was much better. Fat Vampire lacked humor. The main character, Doug really didn't have much dating skills with girls and he didn't have any charisma as Edward Cullen did in Twilight. Sorry, Fat Vampire is a boring read for me because I was hoping for Doug to have a sense of humor as well his friends but they didn't.

Ringiejean Jun 25, 2014

funny

Esther139 Jun 06, 2014

This seem s like a book that going to be really interesting, i can't wait to read it

ookamikun Apr 20, 2014

Starts out great with jokes, likable characters and much promise. In the middle, transforms into a piece of garbage together with the main character. Has no ending.

j
Jacquelinelung
Feb 19, 2014

I have returned this book. stop trying to get me in trouble. I did not lose it. i've returned it a long time ago.

a
acjohns86
Jun 24, 2013

I really enjoyed this book, and found it hilarious from the first chapter! The humor kind of fell off half way through but came back strong at the end!

spoonb3rri Aug 13, 2012

An okay novel. It had a good premise, but bad execution. Also, I got very annoyed with the main characters and I just did not want to root for them or like them.

JennyX Aug 11, 2012

This book could have been more original. It seems like these days, every book has vampires. It wasn't very well written, and the polt almost wasn't there. I don't recommend this book.

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Quotes

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a
acjohns86
Jun 24, 2013

"Koko want kitten!"

spoonb3rri Aug 13, 2012

“I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.”

e
E_Kazan
Sep 24, 2011

“"I'm not saying I want you to do it," said Jay. "It's just...hard to see you hurting so much. You could just drink a little of my blood, just to see--" "Uh-uh," said Mr.Gonzales as he loomed suddenly over their desks. "No inglés. En español, por favor." Jay glaned in the teacher's direction, then stared at his hands. "Um...Podria usted...beber un poco de mi...sangre? Es correcto? Sangre?" "Sangre es 'blood,'" "Si," said Jay. Doug pretended to read his book. Mr. Gonzales coughed. "You're supposed to be pretending to buy pineapples," he said.

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

"What part of Canada are you from, honey?"

"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

"Can I see some ID?"

"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."

Doug stiffened. Jay sounded cray. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

it smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long

b
bluebelle11
Jan 31, 2011

Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.

Summary

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Esther139 Jun 06, 2014

Doug Lee is undead quite by accident, attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same.Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her,hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her......

starrynite14 Aug 17, 2012

The book "Fat Vampire" is about a 15 year old vampire named Doug Lee trying to go back to his normal teen life. Doug was just trying to lose some weight and suddenly one night a vampire named Victor attacked him. He then began to experience some vampire abilities such as moving in speed and turning into a bat. Doug began to fall for an Indian exchange student, Sajal, who he met on the first day of school. They started hanging out since then and the more time they spent with each other, the more Doug liked her. He was worried that he will attack her just like how Victor attacked him. From that thought, Doug began to search for answers for if it's possible for a vampire to turn back human. So far he's heard that in order to turn back human you would have to kill the vampire that attacked you. Doug couldn't kill Victor because they began to develop a friendly bond. He then realized that another way he can turn back human is to terminate Victor's attacker. When both boys came across Victor's attacker, Doug began to realize that it wouldn't seem right to end another person's life for his own selfish needs. He decided that it was best to tell Sajal the truth. When Doug told her, she didn't believe it until he turned into a bat. She didn't fear him, but she was interested. Doug's life may never be the same again, but at least it will never be dull.

spoonb3rri Aug 13, 2012

Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.

Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .

e
E_Kazan
Sep 24, 2011

The back:
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident--attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under the cover of night. But it's just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her--hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated--it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings.

Age Suitability

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a
acjohns86
Jun 24, 2013

acjohns86 thinks this title is suitable for 14 years and over

miguelloza1230 Apr 17, 2013

miguelloza1230 thinks this title is suitable for All Ages

e
E_Kazan
Sep 24, 2011

E_Kazan thinks this title is suitable for 14 years and over

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